To Don'ts List

Well the New Year is almost upon us. Brand spanking new, filled with optimism and hope for renewed passion and energy. Have you committed to some New Year’s resolutions? Do you have them written down, created a plan? Now are you forging your will power to help you move towards them and HOPEFULLY succeed? Statistically people break their New Year’s resolutions within the first fourteen days of January. Success rates for people trying to achieve their resolutions are very low. Trying to rely on will power alone is a difficult way to move towards the goals you have set and want to achieve.

However, it doesn’t have to go that way if you are truly committed to that resolution. I flip the idea upside down and tackle it in a different manner. When we focus on what we don’t want we end up actually moving towards those things because we are focusing so hard on them. I have one resolution I make every year and then create a To Don’t List as a means to achieve that goal. Often I have setbacks and downright falter as I travel the path towards my goal. I have learned to have compassion for myself in those times that I do falter (not fail). Through experience I have discovered that the will power trap is not going to be enough to help me change the course of my ways like I hope to.

My one resolution is this, “I will not allow the things that matter most in my life to be at the expense of those that matter the least.” Summed up, I am not interested in allowing things that really aren’t important having an impact on things that really are. Simply trying to rely on will power is not something that works for me. The word DON’T is a powerful word and tool I can apply that helps me to focus on what I really want. Think about it, how many times have you been told don’t do that? Don’t allow others to influence you! Don’t just follow the crowd? Don’t is a powerful way to bring yourself to attention in the moment and move towards what you want. (As a kid when I was told don’t do that I ended up doing it because someone told me don’t!) I remember in my 2013 Challenge Penticton race which is the same distance as an Ironman I had a really bad run. Actually I was unable to run a lot of the marathon in that race. The day could have been ugly had I focused on what was bad, and there was a lot. I just kept telling myself DON”T focus on what’s wrong, focus on what’s right. It was the most enjoyable marathon I have ever done because I used the power of don’t to live fully in the moment and enjoy it.

Having strong personal Vision and Mission statements are powerful tools that my To Don’t List helps me move towards. If you haven’t created a personal vision and mission statement I highly recommend you do, it is a powerful means to direct your energy. These two tools help to prioritize what things really matter in our lives. They are the basis to create our To Don’t List. They need not be extensive; they are just beneficial to help create a mental picture of what and who you truly want to be. My personal Mission statement is adjusted once a year at this time to reflect how I intend to live over the coming year. This is where the power of the To Don’t List lies, in moving towards what really matters, living in a way that really matters to you.

Start small over the first month of 2015. Make a concerted effort towards one goal that you want to achieve. Make your To Don’t List specific enough to help your mind understand the value of the goal but not so complicated that you have a hard time actually following through. Here are a couple of examples of things I have used:

·         Don’t allow electronics to take time away from training and writing

·         Don’t focus on things you cannot control

·         Don’t waste your good ideas on people who aren’t interested in actually growing

It’s a small sample of my To Don’ts; things that help me stay on course. Ultimately a To Don’t List is about creating personal power. Power to move along in the direction you have resolved to go. Keeping in mind there will be setbacks and that is natural. What you’re aiming for here is changing your mindset to one of ownership over the things that really matter. You can own them and you don’t have to look back and feel down because you didn’t keep your resolutions.

Happy New Year.