2019 Tour Of Hope

    This year marked my fifth Tour Of Hope cycling adventure for The Kids With Cancer Society. Being able to pair a passion (cycling) with the ability to serve is truly a blessing. Riding my bike is something that gives me great joy, it's a freedom I've always felt deep in my heart. My heart has great love for serving others, the Tour Of Hope is one of the best weeks of every year in my life.

    Yearly I get to reunite with my cycling family to help make a difference in the lives of families. Families that are facing circumstances they never thought they would have to. Cancer doesn't discriminate and the number of childhood diagnosis's are rising yearly. These families face great challenges as they navigate the world of information, treatments, finances, health, and recovery for a child battling cancer. The Kids With Cancer Society is a light in the darkness for these families. The Society provides fifty programs and services to families to help and support them. After five years of meeting families through the Tour I have found one common thread that keeps me coming back. The Kids With Cancer Society becomes a member of these families and work tirelessly to help them on their journey.

     The Tour riders are a family that comes together every year to bring hope to the families who need it. We ride our bikes to raise money for the society. What we receive in return is far greater than words can describe. Being able to provide hope through every peddle stroke makes the distance, elements, hills, sore butt, and mental challenges worth every minute on the bike. Everyday of the Tour brings the riding family a little closer together. We grow in our joy through time together on and off the bike, encouraging each other, and talking about our why for being on the Tour. There are tears shed during the evening stories, some that include stories of children who have passed. Our Angel MacKenzie was with us this whole Tour.  The journey is about weaving together our lives to make a difference in the lives of families we may or may not meet.

     The Tour family doesn't consist of only cyclists. There are Kids With Cancer Staff on the Tour and the Support crew are beyond amazing. As cyclists our job is really easy, we eat, sleep, cycle, and repeat. The Staff and Support crew keep everything moving, safe, and functioning at a high level. There are so many great people who give up a week to come out and make this such a success. For the entire week I feel incredibly blessed. There were amazing additions to the Tour this year. Great new cyclists and support staff. It was inspiring to meet younger cyclists who are doing amazing things in the world. Another amazing young woman who stepped out of her comfort zone to cycle the Tour and give back to the Society. On the support side an amazing photographer and cyclist who went above and beyond for the Tour. I fell in love with all of them because of their amazing energy, passion, joy, and commitment. The bond a group of people can make over one week when they are changing the shape of energy is incredible.

    And once again we were able to meet and amazing family who came and spoke to us about what the Kids With Cancer Society has meant to them. These nights are always special, emotional, and beyond rewarding. Seeing the way the Society works in these people's lives simply makes the 850 kilometers of cycling worthwhile.  I have met kids who have fought for their lives and they are happier than you could imagine. They are grateful and excited for the lives they have ahead of them. These are the leaders of the future, the kind of kids I want to meet. It's a reality check every year, a reset for myself about being grateful. That is why I ride this Tour every year. It makes a difference, it creates hope. The world needs more hope.

Together the cyclists raised $191,000 for the Kids With Cancer Society this year.

Thanks to all of my family, friends, and businesses that donated to me this year. I'm grateful you all helped to make a difference.

Blessings

Daniel

30 Hours on a Spin Bike, Community, Love, and Gratitude. In memory of MacKenzie

    On Saturday May 4 at 06:45 I climbed on a Spin Bike to ride for 30 hours at Exist Fitness in Sherwood Park. I had no idea what 30 hours would be like. I've done 24 and it's tough. What would another 6 hours be like? So the goals were survive 30 hours on the bike and raise $20, 000 for The Kids With Cancer Society. As the clocked rolled on the goals morphed and became something much more than goals, more than raising money, and more than an event. This year the ride became a movement that was stirred by an amazing community of people.

    I witnessed amazing human beings come together and create an atmosphere of joy, happiness, love, and conquering. In 2015 I had an idea and a community has created a movement of perseverance in an attempt to make a difference. I believe as humans we all want to make a difference, to know we are making a difference. When we can raise a cause up and carry it with our energy, hearts, and within a community that understands the power of a group united and lovingly caring about one another we all transform. It's a transformation built around helping people we may never know. That doesn't matter, they are in our hearts as they battle an ugly disease. We hope that you felt us as we carried you in our hearts and minds.

     I hadn't told anyone going into this year it was going to be the last 24 Hour Ride. For personal reasons I felt that I had accomplished what I set out to and this would be the crowning accomplishment. However when you surround yourself with amazing people who are loyal, magic fucking energy happens. If I were to list all the names responsible for the way this ride went down I would run out of room here.. The truth is my job is easy on a weird level. I show up and ride a bike, the organizing committee and so many others make the atmosphere that creates the success of this event. I get to drink it all in from a surreal vantage point on my bike. I can't tell you the love I was able to witness and experience because of these people. I know the meaning of being blessed and this year my Tribe carried me along on a wave of extreme loving energy.

    The last two hours of the ride this year were simply a monumental experience in energy, enthusiasm, and human beings driving vibrations to higher levels than I have ever felt. The Disc Jokey had us signing to YMCA, Bohemian Rhapsody, Rasputin, Sweet Carolyn, and many more great songs. I have images seared into my mind and onto my heart from hose two hours I'll never forget. As I was taking it all in I realized I couldn't give this up. This community of people had built such an incredible means to raise money for The Kids With Cancer Society I had to keep this ride alive. The movement I was witnessing was bigger than the idea I had come up with. It was bigger than the low energy I felt coming into the ride. This movement was flowing through all the people that had come to support us by riding, volunteering, and being there for the event. In the end it was epic.

    I can't cure cancer, but I can make a difference. And with the help of this community of people who come to Exist Fitness once a year we have now raised almost $60,000 in five years. Money that goes directly to families who have a child battling cancer. I've met some of these families and heard the stories of kids who have received help from the Society.  It's why I aligned with The Kids With Cancer Society.  They don't have huge operating costs, they use the funds to make a difference. And by the end of this year's ride we had changed the shape of energy. We had made a small dent in cancer the way we know how to.

The fact kids get cancer is sad enough.This year we rode in memory of MacKenzie who passed away in November 2018 after fighting her cancer. Mackenzie's dad Jake had ridden the Tour of Hope with me for several years. I got to spend one memorable afternoon with MacKenzie I will never forget. Seeing her immense wisdom and vibrant energy even while having the ugly disease cancer attacking her was life altering. MacKenzie was a bright star and I'm certain she still shines as an Angel. We were honored to ride for you MacKenzie. The extra six hours were not pretty, not fun, and not something I'll do again. However it was worth what I was able to experience, what we accomplished, and how amazing the community I live in came together to make a difference.

1 Degree

    Borrowing this from the Pastor at The Summit Church in Edmonton. He educated us that a train will not move until the steam reaches 212 degrees Fahrenheit. If the temperature is 211 degrees Fahrenheit the train will not move. So one degree difference makes locomotion possible. His analogy was how much could one degree difference make in our own fire to relate to God?

    So let's take the God equation out of it for now. In what areas of your life could 1 degree difference in the fire you bring Change The Shape Of Energy? The possibilities are boundless.

1 degree could be the difference between getting that promotion or not.
1 degree could be the difference between a disciplined child or them dictating your home.
1 degree could be the difference between writing that book or not starting.
1 degree could be the difference between passing or not.
1 degree could be the difference between reaching that weight goal or not.
1 degree could be the difference between saving the relationship or not.
1 degree could be the difference between changing careers or staying stuck.
1 degree could be the difference between getting the part in the play or not.

     The list could go on and on and maybe it should. Why do we sell our selves short instead of going full out with that one extra degree! I think it is societal conditioning and the status quo. We are more willing to conform than make a stand for ourselves and burn as brightly as we can. Think about that one degree difference and how it could impact the world.

Blessings

Daniel

"Changing The Shape Of Energy"

Insecurity - my series in Vulnerability

     Ten years ago if you had told me I would Author two books and had won the 2018 Pride of Strathcona Mayor's Award I probably would have laughed at you. Not that I didn't want to be an Author. I was working towards it, coming up against many obstacles that any Author faces. Five years ago when I had the idea for Dan's 24 Hour Ride in support of the Kids With Cancer Society I never knew how it would grow to what it is today. I never had dreams about winning the top award in the County.

     Truth be known even with what I have accomplished I have some deep seated insecurities. One could say at times painful. There are two sides to Daniel, the outer identity that I created to hide the secret of childhood sexual abuse. And the inner Daniel, still struggling with the dark mental effects of that abuse. The saying goes you never know the battles someone is facing. I have become much more powerful in myself. The kind of power that allows me to be grounded and more capable of facing the demons in my mental world. Having a strong support network of friends and family help. And yet some friends and family have had to be removed because they judged when I would slide down into lower frequencies of vibration. Not worth having those people around.

       The greatest gift I have learned to use in battling the low times is my faith in Christ, and wanting to serve others. The word serve means to be worthy of reliance or trust, to be of use. Culturally we look down on the word serve, as if it conjures up a lesser level of success on the status quo scale. For me to take the emotional, physical, and mental pain I have suffered and turn it into a message or means to help others is to serve. Some day's it takes great energy and effort to not just run away, hide and say fuck it. Today is actually one of those days.

     We all have insecurities that make us feel like we don't have what it takes to realize our dreams or goals. We feel that we are limited by them and will never overcome them. They lurk like great shadows in the depths of our souls. We have been given a spirit of courage not one of fear. Remember that when you feel like you can't. Take small actions everyday in the direction of your dreams. Small actions piled one on top of the other lead to massive change and growth. Make it your aim to serve others. Knowing that you are making a difference in the lives of others helps to tame the feelings that rise up around our insecurities. I still have mine, I just know that once I start I always get to the other side. I'll see you on the other side.

God Bless

Daniel

"Changing The Shape Of Energy."

The Shift my series in Vulnerability

     Big gulp, you can write this. Being a male vulnerability can be a difficult to express. To me vulnerability is the ability to express and handle all of your emotions. It's getting hot in here. As an Author in my first book 'Nobody Can Take It Away From You' I essentially laid bare my soul to the world. It was a difficult to put down on paper what I had experienced in my life to that point. Being an Author its a part of my function and purpose so it was a necessary step. Yet being vulnerable is still a battle. Honestly as I write this I feel a shortness in my breath, my body tenses, and I want to stop.

    However I'm not going to stop because there is a shift going on inside of me that is many parts amazing, many frightening, many I am saying fuck yeah to, many I am saying fuck no to! But here is the truth, I'm afraid. I am vulnerable and I am afraid, there I said it. I grew up in a time when boy's didn't cry. It's bull and boys should cry, I encourage them to cry, and society should support and encourage it. There is still to much of that old male philosophy in place and running the show. I have been crying a lot at night lately. You know what, it feels good, freeing. It is all apart of my shift I've been lead to and am walking out.

    I know all to well what holding that energy in can cause. I have never spoken much publicly or at length in my books about the sexual abuse I was subjected to. What purpose would it serve to describe how it all went down? To me it would only keep me in a negative loop of memories and shit I don't want. Here I am though going down that road because of the shift. What people don't realize is that vulnerability never leaves you. I have dealt with way more emotional release over the course of my life than I care to express. Healing it was and has helped me immensely. Because the abuse was a secret for many years I learned to bury all that emotional stuff way down inside. I was never going to be vulnerable again, boy's don't cry. I can't tell you how much I cried as a boy at night all alone, vulnerable.

     I'm not writing this for sympathy.So why this article now? Because men we need to talk. We need to express our emotions in a safe and healthy way. We need to understand that vulnerable is strong and vulnerable makes you more of a man than withholding vulnerability. We need to teach our boys that crying is alright and that vulnerability is strength. For them, the females they will encounter throughout their lives. For healthier relationships, workplaces, schools, Universities, maybe even the world. That is the shift I am experiencing and it's beautiful in a painful but freeing way.

God Bless

Daniel

"Changing The Shape Of Energy."

Communications biggest stumbling blocks

     Recently I came to the realization in a relationship that no matter how I communicated I was never going to be heard. The habits in communication the other person had created over their lifetime were simply impenetrable. As a matter of fact these habits were not just about communication, they were all encompassing in this persons life. They dictated their decisions, loyalties, and most definitely their judgments.

    These following two defenses were continuous in conversations and so disrupted the relationship it ended.

     1. Always having to look good. There were such deep insecurities that this individual had and wouldn't deal with and they came to bare daily in the relationship. Dealing with them would have constituted weakness. Rather than take the time to look within, the problem was always outside them. And the thing this person needed more than anything was to go out and get validation from others for what they did. Many times things were turned around on me by this person in order that they look good was more important than my feelings or needs and ultimately the relationship. Seeing that no matter what the reality this person had to look good even if it came at my expense was eye opening.

     2 Always having to be right. This was a relationship killer as no matter what the situation, the behavior, or the ramifications this person had to be right. Even to the point of altering reality in order to do so. Funniest thing about this was this person had been told repeatedly in a past relationship that they did have to be right. This was something that stuck in the side of this person for years and made them angry

. The reaction was never to look within and see what part they played in this, it was to continually lash out and hold onto a perceived slight. Then I lived it and saw that reality didn't lie. And this is not just a part of this individuals make up it is systematic in their family.

     When communication in a relationship, workplace, social situation, or any personal interaction follows these two blockages it is not communication. It has become a one way conversation. Simply decline to become involved and excuse yourself from the conversation. It may even mean removing that person from your life.

Daniel

"Changing The Shape Of Energy."