Insecurity - my series in Vulnerability

     Ten years ago if you had told me I would Author two books and had won the 2018 Pride of Strathcona Mayor's Award I probably would have laughed at you. Not that I didn't want to be an Author. I was working towards it, coming up against many obstacles that any Author faces. Five years ago when I had the idea for Dan's 24 Hour Ride in support of the Kids With Cancer Society I never knew how it would grow to what it is today. I never had dreams about winning the top award in the County.

     Truth be known even with what I have accomplished I have some deep seated insecurities. One could say at times painful. There are two sides to Daniel, the outer identity that I created to hide the secret of childhood sexual abuse. And the inner Daniel, still struggling with the dark mental effects of that abuse. The saying goes you never know the battles someone is facing. I have become much more powerful in myself. The kind of power that allows me to be grounded and more capable of facing the demons in my mental world. Having a strong support network of friends and family help. And yet some friends and family have had to be removed because they judged when I would slide down into lower frequencies of vibration. Not worth having those people around.

       The greatest gift I have learned to use in battling the low times is my faith in Christ, and wanting to serve others. The word serve means to be worthy of reliance or trust, to be of use. Culturally we look down on the word serve, as if it conjures up a lesser level of success on the status quo scale. For me to take the emotional, physical, and mental pain I have suffered and turn it into a message or means to help others is to serve. Some day's it takes great energy and effort to not just run away, hide and say fuck it. Today is actually one of those days.

     We all have insecurities that make us feel like we don't have what it takes to realize our dreams or goals. We feel that we are limited by them and will never overcome them. They lurk like great shadows in the depths of our souls. We have been given a spirit of courage not one of fear. Remember that when you feel like you can't. Take small actions everyday in the direction of your dreams. Small actions piled one on top of the other lead to massive change and growth. Make it your aim to serve others. Knowing that you are making a difference in the lives of others helps to tame the feelings that rise up around our insecurities. I still have mine, I just know that once I start I always get to the other side. I'll see you on the other side.

God Bless

Daniel

"Changing The Shape Of Energy."