Communications biggest stumbling blocks

     Recently I came to the realization in a relationship that no matter how I communicated I was never going to be heard. The habits in communication the other person had created over their lifetime were simply impenetrable. As a matter of fact these habits were not just about communication, they were all encompassing in this persons life. They dictated their decisions, loyalties, and most definitely their judgments.

    These following two defenses were continuous in conversations and so disrupted the relationship it ended.

     1. Always having to look good. There were such deep insecurities that this individual had and wouldn't deal with and they came to bare daily in the relationship. Dealing with them would have constituted weakness. Rather than take the time to look within, the problem was always outside them. And the thing this person needed more than anything was to go out and get validation from others for what they did. Many times things were turned around on me by this person in order that they look good was more important than my feelings or needs and ultimately the relationship. Seeing that no matter what the reality this person had to look good even if it came at my expense was eye opening.

     2 Always having to be right. This was a relationship killer as no matter what the situation, the behavior, or the ramifications this person had to be right. Even to the point of altering reality in order to do so. Funniest thing about this was this person had been told repeatedly in a past relationship that they did have to be right. This was something that stuck in the side of this person for years and made them angry

. The reaction was never to look within and see what part they played in this, it was to continually lash out and hold onto a perceived slight. Then I lived it and saw that reality didn't lie. And this is not just a part of this individuals make up it is systematic in their family.

     When communication in a relationship, workplace, social situation, or any personal interaction follows these two blockages it is not communication. It has become a one way conversation. Simply decline to become involved and excuse yourself from the conversation. It may even mean removing that person from your life.

Daniel

"Changing The Shape Of Energy."